Weirdness continues

Today I went to Stuttgart with my host family, which was interesting. It was the first time I'd been in the city center, so it was nice to see a little bit of the city and get a sense of the feel of it. First of all we went to a "brunch", which was a little awkward. At first I felt really happy and excited because it was in a pretty hotel and there was a huge salad bar (I never really appreciated them at home, but here they are my favorite!) but then I got snapped at by my host mother for eating with my hands (who eats a spring roll with a fork and knife? Who?) and I felt awful again and had to try really really hard not to cry.

Then afterwards we had a small discussion about our day. They were under the impression that I really wanted to go to the Weihnachtsmarkt in Stuttgart, but in truth I just wanted to go into the city center. Alex was suppposed to take me but he was complaining about it so much. He really didn't want to. Finally he gave in, so he and Sonja and I were dropped off nearby and walked to the market.

I took a lot of pictures, which eventually you will see. It was so crowded, but it was still lovely, very different from the markets in Pforzheim and Karlsruhe. I have decided that I very much prefer Karlsruhe to Stuttgart -- it has a much more cozy, old-fashioned style, with its narrow streets and the crowded Straßenbahn and the university. After a short walk and some Glühwein, we took the bus to my host grandmother's house and sung some Christmas Carols. Actually I kind of hummed. I had a song book with lyrics, but the others were sort of off-key, so it was impossible to join in. I did take a video, though, which I'll post once I have this irritating issue with my USB drive/camera cord/whatever thing figured out!!

Right now I feel really, really tired and my usual headache is coming back... I've had some kind of physical ailment literally since I got here, from digestion issues to shoulder and neck pain to headaches and sore feet. I'm wondering WHEN I will start feeling like a normal human being again instead of a robot. I am also feeling a little scared because I'm afraid I'm stuck like this -- I don't want to sleep through my entire exchange, because it's the only one I have. The other thing is that I'm beginning (probably belatedly) to really notice the effect of German immersion on my English, particulary my reading ability, and it's freaking me out. Right now I really feel like I "speak no language," and even though I know this is a normal part of the process and it will get better, right now I feel really lost without the language-related pleasure that I normally experience: reading, writing, words.

So. In conclusion, I'm sorry about this complaining. I know I'm lucky to have this experience, and I hope that it will be a good one in the end. But I also think it's better to let you know what I'm really feeling instead of posting something artificial, or not posting at all.