Three months

After hearing a million times that three months into your exchange is supposed to be some huge turning point, I'm left feeling mildly disppointed. And a little defective, honestly.

Some aspects of my life after three months here:

Sprache: I am disappointed with my German. I can get the jist of almost everything said in normal conversation, but in my classes, I'm lost about 85-90% of the time. My speaking skills leave something to be desired. I suspect this is because although I speak almost entirely German, I read and write a lot of English. I rely on my journal a lot, to express all the quirky thoughts and ideas that I can't share with anyone because of my language skills. I've tried writing in German, and I write a little in German almost every day, but it's mostly in English and that needs to change! And reading really relaxes me. I'm basically at the level of a five-year-old reading-wise. Oh yeah, and I can read religious gift books too. But I am really addicted to my books here, and I can't imagine reading only in German since it frustrates me a lot.

Akkordeon: The accordion is hard, really hard. I never realized it was so difficult -- I have a little toy one at home and I didn't know the real ones were so big. Well, they are big, and really, really heavy. You can't see any of the keys on the left side of the accordion, which you use to make chords, and all of them feel the same except for the C and one other, so it's so, so hard to figure out which is which. It takes me about 10 seconds to find the C, actually! Also it's hard to control the volume; I always start out normal, then get quieter as the air runs out, then get so loud as I start going the opposite direction! I also constantly run out of air at awkward times and need to take 2-pauses to figure out what I'm doing. But the good news is, I have real accordion lessons now, and a kelly-green accordion to take home with me! I'm hoping to get really good by the end of the year; then I can impress everyone with my sweet accordion skills at school meeting.

Sterne: Tonight I got really tired while marching up the hill to my house. Earlier, I was in school until one, then had Thai food at the Thai restaurant Tang found (€4 lunch) and drank a heiße Schokolade at Cafe Mokka whilst wating for the train. I took the train to Karlsruhe, spent a couple hours feeling really awkward and non-profficient in German while sort of baking chocolate bread, and then bought a phone card. (I shouldn't, I know, but I bought it at the Asian goods store for €5 and you get 350 minutes, which is ridiculous. I had to get it!) I also got a Thai ice tea, which brought me back to meeting for "good conversation" with Kayla on Congress Street. It brought back memories for Tang, too. When we were sitting on the train to Kleinsteinbach/Pforzheim, she told me, "When you talk to me, I can smell your breath, and it's like Thailand!" Oh yes, also I am already planning to visit her in Chiang Mai/wherever she's living the year after next.

I ate a sandwich at Subway. I am so sorry. I was hungry and there were scary teenagers standing outside my Kebap/falafel place, and I went in and the woman working was so nice to me! While I was buying it all I thought about was how much money that company probably gives to the Republican party. I don't think I'll ever be a normal teenager. Still, the sandwich wasn't bad.

I had to wait an hour and a half for the bus. And then, a 15-minute walk uphill. I stopped and turned around and admired the stars. It was a hermit-and-the-well moment (for those who have read "A Pebble for Your Pocket" by Thich Naht Hahn -- look into it, Mr. Murray). It was so beautiful, there are so many stars in my little village, and I felt really happy and serene. Orion was right in front of me, and from there I thought back to my astronomy class, from back when I was a lil' homeschooler, and I tried to remember other things. Unfortunately, I failed. I identified the vague area of Taurus, but which stars were involved, I had no idea. I felt proud of myself when I finally identified the Pleites (sp?). But the sky was so big, and so many things I couldn't name... I remembered (predictably) the scene in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" on the ice, when Clementine says, "Show me which ones you know..." That scene makes me tear up every time, or it would, if I were the sort of person who teared up during movies. I think the only movies to make me cry were "Capote" (as soon as the credits started rolling) and "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly," when the dad is crying on the phone. Books get me much more easily.

Schule: Still not so fun. I feel really awkward in my classes, and bad that I can do so little of the work. My German teacher wants me to write the test next week, and I don't see how that's possible since I've read only one page of the book! I'm no longer taking chemistry -- instead, I'm helping out with a 7th grade English class. I'm not sure exactly what I'll be doing yet, but I think it's good -- no chemistry!

Familie: In all politeness, I am ready to have some people to hang out with outside my family. Sometimes I get irritated with life here, as much as I tell myself how welcoming they are, and how much they've done for me, and how easy I have it. It's still hard for me to get used to their family life. Everything works really differently from my house and sometimes it drives me a little crazy.

Müller: Müller is a big store in the Schlössle-Gallerie where you can get anything you'd ever need. Upstairs they have lots of food and shampoo and soap and toiletrie-type things, and perfume, etc, and downstairs they have toys and electronics. I go there a lot, just to look around -- today I wandered into the board game section and I was amazed! There are so many wonderful board game options! And SCRABBLE in GERMAN! (Unfortunately they had no Apples to Apples-equivalent -- I think something like that would be wonderful for learning new words.) I am ready to spend many euros on board games now. Too bad no one in my family plays them!


Tomorrow I am going to sing in a little singing group with Alisa and then go to the AFS Christmas party. Christmas here is crazy! It's really great! I'll have to post some pictures soon, of the Weihnachtsmarkt, the tree in my school, the Schlössle-Gallerie and other things!