Overheard on the Bus

I don't mind taking the bus home from school, in fact, it's rather enjoyable. The people on my bus are completely insane, especially the bus driver. I think she must have had some kind of psychological trauma. She is the aunt of my dear friend Dylan, and she spends the whole bus ride screaming at him. On the first day of school, Dylan was saying, "I'm grounded now, but I hope my mom will still let me go to football practice," and the bus driver yelled, "SHUT YOUR FACE!" She also complains loudly about every other driver on the road, and screams at anyone who rolls down their window or isn't completely seated. She says thing like, "YOU THERE! With the winter hat on! Unless you're seven feet tall, you're not sitting down! Sit down, Pumpkin." In a very scary voice, as well.
The freshmen who sit behind me talk about the most pointless things. The other day they were complaining about how "all the juniors think they're seniors." "Oh my God, it's so annoying! They're all like, 'Hey, I'm better than you, I'm a senior.' I should just go up to them and say, 'If you're a senior, I'd be, like, a sophomore. I'm one year older too!'"
Yesterday someone was describing in great detail someone (or something, I'm not sure) blowing up. He was talking very loudly and enthusiastically, which was funny. Soon, the conversation moved on to "how you want to die." One kid wanted to be cremated, and then have his ashes put in cereal boxes, so "people would be, like, eating me when they ate cereal!" Someone else said, "I want my ashes to be put in an active volcano." Still another said, "I don't want to cremated, I want to be put in a cannon and blown up! Then everyone could run around looking for parts of me. They'd be like, 'I found his eye!' or 'I found his tongue!' That would be awesome!"